The article was on Abuse and Domestic Violence. It wasn’t about differences of opinion, debates or arguing. Abuse according to the dictionary is; cruel treatment, injury, vicious conduct, to damage, defame or harm, slander, violate or victimize, unreasonable or improper treatment. I wrote,” You must stop responses that serve and reward bad behavior, even if you have to leave to do it.” Let’s define leave; to go, to depart from or to quit. One can leave by going into the other room. One can depart from the house or go to the shopping center. One can go visit a relative, or leave permanently. To “stop responses that serve and reward bad behavior” a most effective method is to walk out. Don’t stay and accept it. Walking out is not accepting it. If your refusal to accept it doesn’t decrease the problem, it is wise to increase the action of not accepting that behavior. A person does not have a “right” to abuse another person. Relationships don’t come with abuse and violence privileges.
The response to a situation should be appropriate for what is happening. If leaving the room gets an abuser to become aware that being around him is a negative experience, if he wants you around, he’ll rethink his behavior. If he doesn’t notice, next time leave the house. If his abuse increases, increasing your refusal to accept it is appropriate. If the abuse escalates into physical force, brutality or violence, it is time to leave permanently.
Abusers, you always had the power to save your relationship .All you had to do was to treat her with the same respect you want to receive. If you wouldn’t tolerate being treated the way you treat her, why should she? Would you stay with someone who treated you the way you treat her? Would you want to be around someone who talked down to you the like you talk down to her? Would you like to be with someone bigger and stronger who used that power against you? of course not. Yet you blame anyone and everyone except yourself for ruining your relationship. Your relationship was broken before it split. You could have healed it if you wanted to, but you wanted control more than you wanted her to feel emotionally safe with you, more thanand you wanted her to love being close to you. You wanted her to fear you more than you wanted her to trust you. You got what you wanted. To her, being away from you is a great relief. If you want to see who broke up your relationship, look in the mirror. It had nothing to do with a newspaper article.