Our ability to communicate affects the quality of our everyday lives. It affects our ability to advance and have quality in every human relationship, both professionally and privately. People who are successful in relationships have one thing in common. They always appreciate each other. Those who appreciate each other have relationships that last.
Fifty percent of communication is listening. Listening is a basic for real communication and understanding. Listening is the quality of all good friendships. If you talk but donít listen, donít be surprised if others donít listen to you. Listening is an act of caring. Caring and being cared about is a basic human need. It appeals to the humanity in all of us. If someone doesnít care how you feel, you will protect your feelings from them. If someone doesnít care how you think, you will hide your thoughts from them. These responses create distance.
Allowing and accepting a person for feeling what they feel and thinking what they think is validating them. Everyone seeks validation. Everyone seeks a safe place where they can be who they really are. Most people donít listen. They are too busy planning what they are going to say as soon as the other person shuts up. They are too busy telling others how they ought to feel, how they should think and what they had better do, instead of accepting how they do feel, how they do think and what they want to do. If you really want communication, donít tell them, ask them how they feel and think and listen diligently.
When they have finished entrusting you with their inner most current reality, validate and accept what you heard. THEN you can share with them how you FEEL. The key is FEELING. Always speak with respect, compassion and sincerity. I assure you, they will feel the difference. When you can share and accept each others feelings, you have begun the basic art of real communication. People who have no sensitivity for other people make poor choices for partners in life. A person who has no compassion or caring about the needs of others is a poor choice for community leadership .A person who has no awareness or concern for the needs of other people is not an asset to a business where he comes in constant contact with the public. No one can hide what they really are for long. Their actions will speak the truth their words attempt to hold secret. Be sincere. Be honest. If you are not believable, donít be surprised if others donít believe you.
A sincere appreciation for who one is and what one has to offer creates a bond of mutual respect. Compassion, respect and caring are the foundation of real communication, an entrustment held with integrity where it is safe to be whom and what you are. These basic principals of communication apply in ALL relationships. History is filled with leaders who commanded respect, but great leaders INSPIRE it. Standard techniques are used by standard teachers, but great teachers find the personal gem within their student and polish it to outstanding value .The value of appreciating those we teach, represent or lead, are greatly under estimated. There would be no congressmen without their constituents, no bosses without their employees and no heads of families without a family. Every piece of the puzzle is valuable. Without them the picture would be incomplete.
We are people, dealing with people. Without humanitarian qualities we can not intelligently expect long term positive results. If you want your relationships to be the best they can be, appreciate them. If you want your relationships to last, listen as much as you speak. If you want to keep the good feelings, respond to the feelings of others. Honest communication comes from caring and being cared about.