Polygamy based on religion has a built in “cultural” requirement for acceptance of God, husbands and family. Women who do not “choose” to comply are shunned by their religious group, disowned by their families and damned by their God. Some become victims to “blood atonement” and “honor killings, condoned by the “God given” rights of husbands.
Choices in cultures of coercion are not choices. They are violations of human rights. Those who violate human rights assume they are “better” than others. They elevate themselves “higher” to make others “lower”. Those “higher” make the decisions and issue the orders and expect those “lower” to obey.
The “higher” one creates two standards, one for them and one for “lower” lesser human beings. Rules they forces others to live by are harsh and strict, and don’t apply to them. They take liberties and pleasures they would never allow the “lower ones”. They demands a full accounting of what “lesser ones” do and where they are, but where the “higher one” is and what he does is none of their business. These are the hallmarks of a polygamist husband’s relationship with his wives.
In polygamy the infidelity of polygamist husbands is not called infidelity. It is called a “test from God” (for wives). Multiple partners take him to Godhood, but if she is disloyal to him, she “shall be destroyed.” Her constantly dwindling personal relationship with him is her religious duty.
I am a product of polygamy, as were my parents. As a polygamist wife, my mothers sorrowful countenance over shadowed her verbal support of polygamy. Consequently, my father visited less and less, until there were years at a time we never saw him. He blamed mother for her joyless empty life, our poverty and even his refusal to visit his children, yet he owned, overshadowed and controlled every aspect of her life. Like all FLDS women of obedience, mother spoke the praises of polygamist love and joy, and wept alone at night because her God hated her enough to make a woman. Mother’s polygamist life is typical.
FLDS traditional dress requires women cover everything except their head and their hands. Unlike Muslim women, they are not required to cover their heads. Obedience and control of women is absolute in religious polygamy Sexual pleasure for women is preached against and forbidden. FLDS Polygamists tell women sex is only for procreation, and of course there is always a woman somewhere who isn’t pregnant, so men have the joy of “God’s work” elsewhere. Muslims resort to female genital manipulation; by cutting off a woman’s clitoris to be sure she never experiences sexual pleasure.
The psychological and emotional needs of women are not called needs; they are called “weaknesses to over come”. Mental and emotional abuse is not called abuse; they are called “marriage”.
If a polygamist husband were forced to experience the pain his behavior inflicts on his wives, he couldn’t cope with it. His wives not only have to cope with it, they must, and they must act and speak as if they love it or suffer heavy consequences. Negative emotion on the part of women is considered evil and results in verbal, emotional and often physical abuse.
The same social pressures that got theses women into polygamist marriages also force them to hide their painful devastation when their husband beds other women. Over time women learn to with draw their emotional feelings from their husband as a means of coping. Anguish can only burn so long before it turns to ashes.
The more wives he takes, the more he ignores her. As she ages, he seeks younger women and her already low self esteem plummets. Many polygamist women look forward to death as liberation from their empty marriages, but the “eternal life” they have obediently subordinated themselves for, is taught to be an extension of the same life they now endure, except they will be “crowned Goddesses while they “ obey without question and repeat the same slavery and endless childbearing. This realization puts numerous mothers of many children into a real struggle with depression.
If you want to know how polygamist women feel, realize how you would feel if your mate brings someone home to have sex with. The truth lies in your own emotions.
Polygamist women can’t protect their children. They can’t protect them selves. They can never be free, unless they break their dependence on that which enslaves them, and very few do.